It was my shoes. Well one of the reasons anyway. A bit embarrassing to say, but yes, the ChiRunning Instructor who claims “it’s not
about the shoes” had a problem with the shoes in my attempt to run 100 miles for the
first time! There was another reason, too, that I’ll get into later. As I
struggled through the last 20 miles of the 80 I completed, I thought that I
would likely never ever try doing a 100 mile race again. And then, a few hours
later after a great breakfast in Incline with friends and family, a shower and
a few hours of sleep, remarkably, that thought changed. But I’m getting ahead of the
story. So I’ll start from the beginning. With the shoes.
In the weeks leading up to the Tahoe Rim Trail 100 mile
race, July 19, I was confident in my training and my fitness. I had had an excellent
month of long training runs in June and knew that I was ready to attempt my
first 100.  I started running in my new
Go-Bionic Trail shoes by Skechers only a month before the race, and I loved
them despite the color- pink that actually I grew to like. The longest run I did in them was 34 miles and I had
less than 100 miles in them. I decided to use them for TRT – I loved the
cushion, the flexibility and the aggressive sole for trails. They were softer
than my Altras in the rear foot which didn’t seem significant to me at the
time. And anyway, it’s not really about the shoes, right? I was confident that
my running form was optimal and that my ability to focus would get me through
tough times, so why be concerned about making a minor change in my shoes.... right? This from someone who took 8 months of transitioning from a fully supported, posted, orthotic inserted, high heeled, stiff and heavy running shoe, to a "minimal" shoe with little cushion, maximal flexibility and zero drop, 4 years ago.
I still had doubts about my ability to complete 100 miles,
(who doesn’t?) and it seemed that other runners who know me had more confidence
in my ability than I did. I realized with great clarity that it would be my
mental preparation that would be critical to my race strategy and completion of
100 miles. I practiced visualization, positive affirmations and reviewed the
race in my head over and over again. I practiced what I would think about when
it would get “bad” and how I would express myself in a positive way. I
practiced gratitude and acknowledgement of the opportunity to get to do this
race. 
|  | 
| Wednesday before the race I ran to the falls at Mt Rose. Feeling good, feeling ready. | 
I had my nutrition/fueling plan dialed in, or so I thought,
even though I had no experience over the 50 mile distance to test it. It was
probably my biggest concern and as it turned out, I was right about that, but
for reasons entirely different than I expected.
The week before the race I wrote out my race strategy and
shared it with my crew. My crew!! They were amazing!! If there’s one thing I
learned more than any other ultra, the 100 mile distance requires great people
to get one person to the finish. And I had a great crew. My training partner, Ron Nageotte, was my crew
leader. He has been my ultrarunning mentor, friend, and training partner for the last 4
years. We were going to train for and race TRT together, but in mid-May he
couldn’t run due to a torn medial meniscus (cartilage in his knee). As my
training intensity increased through June, he was there for me anyway,
encouraging, reassuring and advising despite his own disappointment and sadness
in not being able to train for, or run TRT. I knew I would be running TRT to
validate everything he believed in me as a runner. I couldn’t let him down.
It would be like letting me down.
Dave, my husband, was responsible for my supply bag and my
cooler. He had also planned to pace me the last 20 miles. He made sure I had
what I needed and I know that he had to bust butt to get to me when I came into
the 30 mile, Diamond Peak Aid station earlier than planned. He made it look easy
as he managed all my supplies and requests with unconditional support.
Carol Nageotte, the amazing 50 mile aid station captain,
Ron’s wife, and no stranger to finishing 100 miles sent me out of the 50 mile
aid station Saturday evening with an inspiring “you can do this”. With her bright
smile and the intensity in her eyes, I left feeling like I could do it just
because she said so!
My 81 year old dad has always been there for the biggest athletic challenges in my life. He decided to spend the weekend supporting me again. He also
volunteered to work the 50 mile aid station with Carol and her team all day and
had the time of his life. She put him to work and told me later that she wants
to hire him for next year.
Lastly, I cannot find words to express how grateful I am for
Ken Kasterko, my pacer. Ken learned ChiRunning from me in 2011 and has been
practicing those skills ever since. His journey in life as a runner, pacer,
ultrarunner volunteer/organizer, and friend of many, make him a jewel of our
crazy sport. I had no idea how blessed I was to have him until well into the
night when I couldn’t think anymore. Ken paced me from Spooner to Diamond  Peak 
|  | 
| The Goddess of TRT Registration, Angela customized my bib | 
Back to the start of the race.
I ate well the day before and on race morning, I woke
feeling excited. The day was finally here! I ate my proven breakfast of instant
oatmeal and cranberries. My dad drove me to the start and we arrived by 4:30
am. I ate a banana along the way. I was glad to not have queasiness and knew
that I had under control any anxiety about the day. The starting area was full
of energy and hugs were everywhere as we met each other in the bright lights
and wished each other a great day of running.
Ron was filming every hug and
greeting and I was happy that he had found something meaningful to do to keep
his mind off not being in the race. Gracious and smiling behind the camera, he never showed his real feelings about not being able to run. A beautiful rendition of America 
|  | 
| Leslie and I before starting. She eventually met her goal to finish under 30 hours and take second in our age group - photo by Cheryl Surface | 
The run up to Marlette 
 Lake 
The climb up to Hobart Hobart Hobart Marlette 
 Peak 
Heading out to Diamond 
 Peak 
At the top of Mt.  Rose , about 3.5 miles from Diamond  Peak 
Dave had to scramble to get to Diamond  Peak 
I hiked the 2 mile, 2400 foot climb out of Diamond  Peak Atlanta ,
for a bit as we approached TC and he asked me if it was going to rain over Snow  Valley 
 Peak 
I left TC 
 AS Atlanta Marlette  Peak together Hobart 
again, left there quickly taking Kirkland Snow 
 Valley  Peak 
As I approached the last climb before the Snow Valley Peak
AS it began to rain harder and I got drenched. Wearing only a singlet and
shorts, I got cold quickly as the slight breeze cooled my wet skin. A man
standing outside the Snow Valley Peak AS said, “m’am, we don’t advise you going into the
tent due to the lightening danger”. I just looked at him and thought, ok, but
I’m soaked and I need food and a trash bag to get off this mountain without hypothermia.
I ran into the AS tent. Mile 44 I think it is, and saw a few other runners
huddled in jackets and trash bags. The AS volunteers told me they didn’t have
any trash bags left. All the runners before me had taken all they had. I had
two choices; sit there and hope for the storm to pass and risk getting
hypothermic waiting there, or; take my chances and run down the mountain, get
below the ridge and in to the trees where it would hopefully be warmer and I
could dry off. After a few seconds of contemplation and not eating, but knowing
my water supply was good, I looked at no one in particular and said, “I’m outta
here, bye.”
I ran out of the tent into the downpour thoroughly soaked
with cold arms and legs, but my core was warm and I thought I would be ok. A little scared that I would get hypothermic, I
began to run and willed myself to stay warm. If the wind is blowing at Snow  Valley 
 Peak 
Below tree line, the warmth increased, the trees sheltered
me and my skin dried. I had escaped a hypothermic episode despite my stupidity
of not grabbing my jacket at TC. BUT the pain was increasing and I found myself
walking with about 4 miles left to go before Spooner (50 Miles). I called Ron
for some encouragement and to give him an update. He reassured me and told me
to just take it easy and that they would get me warm and take care of me when I
got in. It was good to hear his voice and I imagined he was running with me on the trail, happy and smiling at the "adversity" that we would surely overcome. But I was worried. I love this section of trail and I have always run it no
matter how tired I am. Now here I was walking because my feet and quads hurt
too much. Not good.
I arrived at Spooner on time! Well almost. Ron said, “You’re
a minute late!” My goal was 14 hours and I did it. Ok, 14:01. But in the back of my mind was the sobering thought that things weren't optimal. My legs and feet were not doing what I expected and I didn’t know how or if I could correct it. The cheers as I arrived at “Stone Henge”; the nickname
for the 50 mile aid station, were loud and uplifting. I smiled as I climbed the
few feet to my crew who surrounded me and led me to a chair.
I felt like a Ferrari in a NASCAR pit with all the people
helping me and asking me what I wanted to eat, drink and wear. I took all my clothes off under the cover of towels and blankets as a lot of people stared at the organized chaos of a crew trying to help their runner all at the same time. I stuck to my plan of tights and long sleeve Patagonia shirt with a light jacket despite the fact that I could tell it was warm from what people were wearing around me. New socks and a new pair of Gobionics. I packed my homemade coconut oil bars in my pack (coconut oil, rice bran solubles, activated barley, dates, almonds, dash of cinamon and salt) knowing that they would sustain me for much of the night.
The energy was high and I had no time to even consider how badly I felt. I just hoped that my quads would recover and the sitting time would relieve the pain in my feet. Ken worked gently on my legs and silently prepared me for our night. Ron asked me four times if I wanted a potato with salt. I opted for broth and Ensure instead.
The energy was high and I had no time to even consider how badly I felt. I just hoped that my quads would recover and the sitting time would relieve the pain in my feet. Ken worked gently on my legs and silently prepared me for our night. Ron asked me four times if I wanted a potato with salt. I opted for broth and Ensure instead.
The Second Half
Ken and I left Spooner at 7:45 pm to start the second 50. I was walking at a decent pace and was grateful for the hills as an excuse. We dropped in to Marlette as the sun was setting. Chet ran up to us from behind and I asked him how he was doing. His back was really bothering him and I told him that my quads were shot. He laughed and said "blown quads are nothing", to just keep moving. Then he was gone with a wish to me for a good night.
Ken and I left Spooner at 7:45 pm to start the second 50. I was walking at a decent pace and was grateful for the hills as an excuse. We dropped in to Marlette as the sun was setting. Chet ran up to us from behind and I asked him how he was doing. His back was really bothering him and I told him that my quads were shot. He laughed and said "blown quads are nothing", to just keep moving. Then he was gone with a wish to me for a good night.
The climb up to Hobart 
We passed a runner going up the steep hill to Hobart 
Many times during the night, Ken gave his usual, “Great job
runner!” as they came towards us or passed us. One said, “You must be a pacer –
you’re too chipper!” Ken wanted to help everyone who seemed to need it and he did when he could catching up to me quickly as I plodded along.
We arrived at Hobart 
Arrived in Tunnel Creek for the fourth time and I sat to drink Ensure and broth.
John, Lon and Robert greeted me and asked how I was doing. I put on a good face
and we chatted about my chances of getting around the Red House Loop in time. I
put on my Altras to see if I could save my feet, but I didn’t notice a
difference and realized it was probably too late at this point. As we descended
in to the Red House loop, I saw Leslie coming out. She was at least 2 hours
ahead of me and looked great. She would go on to finish sub-30 hours and second
in our age group. It gave me hope to see her, but I could feel her energy was
strong and in comparison to mine, I was no where near that. 
We walked the Red House Loop and arrived back at Tunnel
Creek, 6.3 miles and 3 hours later. Slow is hardly the word for it. My legs were spent. I sat. I was only 30 minutes ahead of the
cutoff to leave TC. John and Lon squatted down in front of me to be with me. I
told them about my painful quads and how every step was a knife. Lon massaged
my left leg and found a huge knot at the top. He asked me what I had been
eating all day. I told him fruit, Ensure, about one S-Cap an hour. He shook his
head sadly and said that I probably needed salt, S-Caps were often not absorbed
properly. I knew that, but the truth was now really beginning to hit home. He got up and came back with a potato covered with about a ¼ tsp of
salt and told me to eat it. It tasted good. It was then that I realized I had
not had any real salty food all dayexcept some broth. No potato chips, no pretzels, no potatoes.
AND, despite my instructions to my crew to ask me to eat potatoes with salt at
aid stations, I had refused their offers at every aid station. 
It was 3:53 am when John told me I had about 10 minutes to leave Tunnel Creek. The tears
came briefly as I realized in my heart of hearts that I could not possibly
finish. Anger. Saddness. Relief.  Disappointment. Even embarrassment. I had two choices: drop and wait out an
agonizing few hours of disappointment at Tunnel before I could get driven out,
or continue to move forward knowing full well I would be fairly miserable and I
would drop for certain at Diamond. I chose the latter knowing I wanted to give
everything I had. The race would have to quit me. I was not going to quit.
I sat there for a few moments
struggling with this choice, as John and Lon stayed with me not encouraging me
either way. Then I said let’s go. Ken handed me my pack and I stood up and
began to walk. John said something like, “you’re a brave lady”, and “you have a
lot of courage” as I walked in to the darkness. So this is what courage is, I thought.
Arrived at the Bullwheel aid
station as the night became day and a volunteer had just crawled out of his tent to greet us. I still had about 8 miles to go to Diamond  Peak Mt.  Rose 
And finally, it was over in the
parking lot at Diamond 
 Peak 
So what did I learn? Two critical
amateur errors cost me the finish.
1) The longest run I did in my
Skechers was 34 miles and that was only 4 weeks before the race. I failed to
notice that they are more flexible in the rear foot than my Altras. My feet
weren’t strong enough for the more flexible shoe. I had violated a basic rule
in running – never, ever change something that close to a race (I didn't think it was that close, but this was 100 miles, not a 50K!) and even more
basic, always progress gradually with any kind of change. Not taking the time to
run many miles in a shoe over several months of training (I had less than 100 miles in
them) and thinking they would be good on my feet for 100 miles in 35 hours was a mistake.
2)  I think my quad cramping and pain was likely
due to not enough salt. I wouldn’t have realized this unless Lon had taken the
time to question me at Tunnel Creek. I have always eaten salty foods at aid
stations during my races for the last several years. Why I chose not to eat any
salty foods despite my past habit and my instructions to my crew to ask me to,
is beyond me. I went through aid stations quickly eating fruit and skipping the
munching on salty foods in order to keep moving and thinking this would help me to resist the chair in later
miles. And I took S-Caps during the day, but that was not enough. I skipped the eating routine at aid stations that made a bigger difference than I realized. Also, the fact that my feet hurt so badly probably changed my gait and form in ways that increased the tension in my calves and quads only exacerbating the altered electrophysiology in my muscles. Ken noted how my form had "gotten really bad" as we dropped in to Marlette Lake. I was reaching forward with my legs. It hurt my quads to bend my knees.
3) Pacer and crew are incredibly
important. Ken never gave up on me even when I quietly realized that I would
not finish. I never doubted his genuine commitment to serve me. Tough love and compassion at just the right times throughout the night. His attention was always on me. The man has a gift. And my crew always made me believe that I was doing great and looking good. They followed my instructions to a T.
4) I learned in a most profound
way how wonderful people are in their support and love for people who try. I
learned that trying is as satisfying as meeting the goal. Once again, I am
reminded that it is about the journey in life, not the end result. I am blown
away by how runners love each other out there. That alone was worth all that I
went through.
5) I am brave. I can be with pain and still move, still have some grace and presence of mind.
5) I am brave. I can be with pain and still move, still have some grace and presence of mind.
Thank You
I listened to lots of different people
before, during and after the race, and let them support me. All my running friends, FaceBook Friends, past students, very old friends and family - Thank you for sending me such good energy, taking the time to do that and think of me before, during and after my race.
As my dear friend Ron has often told me, it is in the face of adversity that your true character emerges and the satisfaction of overcoming it is the greatest. He is right. I think I did ok, eh Ron?
Danny, I think I did this run with poise, patience and pace. Thank you for ChiRunning.
George, I let the race come to me to the full extent that I could. I only chased it when I wouldn’t quit.
Mary Lindahl, your friendship has meant the world to me. You are an amazing role model for me.
My aCHIeve group of ChiRunning Instructors reminded me of my ChiRunning skills that are about more than just technique, but the spirit and energy of running and the ability to figure out how to fix it when it goes wrong. Thank you.
My family was there for me as they have always been. I am blessed to have a father who still gets excited to see his daughter try something totally crazy. And dad, I wasn't even thinking about the Boogie man down in Red House!
And the running community! It’s been said so many times before how amazing we are to love a sport that brings together people of all different backgrounds, beliefs, ages, and abilities. The elites taking time to say "great job" as they ran past me at breathtaking speed and the ones struggling, like me, who wished me the best as I passed them despite their own pain.
As my dear friend Ron has often told me, it is in the face of adversity that your true character emerges and the satisfaction of overcoming it is the greatest. He is right. I think I did ok, eh Ron?
Danny, I think I did this run with poise, patience and pace. Thank you for ChiRunning.
George, I let the race come to me to the full extent that I could. I only chased it when I wouldn’t quit.
Mary Lindahl, your friendship has meant the world to me. You are an amazing role model for me.
My aCHIeve group of ChiRunning Instructors reminded me of my ChiRunning skills that are about more than just technique, but the spirit and energy of running and the ability to figure out how to fix it when it goes wrong. Thank you.
My family was there for me as they have always been. I am blessed to have a father who still gets excited to see his daughter try something totally crazy. And dad, I wasn't even thinking about the Boogie man down in Red House!
And the running community! It’s been said so many times before how amazing we are to love a sport that brings together people of all different backgrounds, beliefs, ages, and abilities. The elites taking time to say "great job" as they ran past me at breathtaking speed and the ones struggling, like me, who wished me the best as I passed them despite their own pain.
Aid station volunteers are awesome. Unsung heroes all and critical to the success of a great race like the TRT Runs. Thank you for being out there. Thank you specifically to John Trent for being with me in that tough moment at Tunnel, Lon, Robert, Jill, Lief, Kathie, Tammy and others who paid special attention to me, and my needs. You cared.
Thank you to George Ruiz for his remarkable poise in dealing with a truly challenging race weekend. People love to work for you, George, because you treat each person as special and important.
Thank you to George Ruiz for his remarkable poise in dealing with a truly challenging race weekend. People love to work for you, George, because you treat each person as special and important.
Finally and if you got this far, you have more endurance than you think!
I want to believe that I am fit
enough to finish 100 miles and that my mistakes were ones that I can afford to
make at only lesser distances. I hope that I have figured out what might have
happened out there. Processing the experience has been good for me and I am in
a good place and quite ok with the result of my first attempt at 100 miles. I
would like to test my theories about why I didn’t finish in a future race some day and prove that I can narrow the range of error when running long.
In the mean time, I will focus on
recovering and running again simply for the love of it and not to train for
anything. Then I will decide what is next. I am so grateful for this experience and that I have the health and fitness to run long.
"The difference in winning and
losing is most often... not quitting." 
-- Walt Disney, Animator, Film Producer 
"I don't think anything is
unrealistic if you believe you can do it." 
-- Mike Ditka, Football Coach 
 
